I’m a pathetic loser. I’ve been working hard to please others. I’ve been living fabricated life to get their attention and favor all the time. I’ve pretended to like them to like me. I don’t even remember the last time I truly had a deep and meaningful conversation. I personally don’t want to think that’s necessarily wrong because it’s pretty important what’s shown on the surface too. Who doesn’t want to be liked? You can’t just burst out what you think and how you feel. Sometimes, you need to get a hold on yourself. But the problem is it has eventually affected my art. I’ve realized the ‘story’ in my art started to wait for others to see. My ‘story’ was fabricated and put together nicely to exhibit. I wanted them to read my ‘story’ so badly and bring back certain image about myself. It wasn’t my story anymore. I knew exactly what was happening but didn’t know where to start to fix it or I didn’t want to accept that my art was presenting the lies too.
They probably think I am cool, happy, and generous. No. Not at all. I’m jealous of them. I’m so jealous that I don’t want to congratulate them for their success and happiness. I wish I was in a position where they are at. There has been some time trying to copy them, thinking I could do better. But it never works that way. I know. I just can’t admit the fact that they appear to be way more talented and passionate than I am. I know it’s all because of my inferiority complex and I can’t do anything about it at the moment. I just don’t want to face it anymore. To be honest, I sometimes even wish for their failure. It’s really hard to see their success while I think I’m at the bottom, crawling on the ground, begging for the attention. I know. I’m a pathetic loser. But that’s just who I am.
It feels great to tell you the truth.
But, is it just me?
Work / Education
In Touch 2022, CICA Museum, Gimpo, Korea (Scheduled)
ASYAAF, Hongik University, Seoul, Korea
Future Architecture, Total Museum, Seoul, Korea
3rd HoHo Art Festival, Ccollabohaus Dosan, Seoul, Korea
Song of Colors, FMC tower, Philadelphia, PA, USA
Mask-Off, Jedidiah Gallery, Philadelphia, PA, USA
Under Construction, Jedidiah Gallery, Philadelphia, PA, USA
MAP, 1969 Gallery, New York, NY, USA
In Flux, Inliquid Gallery, Philadelphia, PA, USA
Nature of Next, FMC tower, Philadelphia, PA, USA
Material World, Historic Landmark Building, Philadelphia, PA, USA
Warming, Springside Chestnut Hill Academy, Philadelphia, PA , USA
Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, MFA in Interdisciplinary Art
Brandeis University, BA in Studio Art and Economics