Anhedonia
Description
This is a part of a series in which I try to depict facets of bipolar disorder through conceptual images.
Anhedonia- n. the loss of the capacity to experience pleasure.
This facet of depression has its treacherous way of making the sufferer attempt to un-numb the mind-- in its crippling zombie-like state-- by filling it with anything-- any-fucking-thing that the mind can absorb, even if it means meaningless junk.
*******
It has been said that art is most beautiful when it is most truthful. This piece remains to be one of my top three personal favorites. Below, I'll explain why.
Technical-wise, it would have been so much better had I planned the shoot-- the lighting would have made the photo more aesthetically pleasing had I shot it daytime using natural light or spent time working on a DIY beauty dish (to this day, I have never gotten around to using any photography lighting equipment).
This was a spontaneous shoot, taken nighttime in my brother's room with no other ambient light than a small light bulb nearing its death.
I dragged my little sister to be my model and refused to put it off for the next day--- because when a person is in extreme anhedonia and by some stroke of almost-miracle they suddenly feel a desire to do something aside from sleeping, no matter how fleeting and short-lived--- they desperately grab that chance, like a thief in the night sneaking in right after the lights go out.
The concept hit me during one of those fleeting moments where Anhedonia seemed to have taken a quick nap. Something was screaming inside of me, like a cry for salvation from hell. I fought to give that cry an outlet-- and this piece is the result.
This piece remains to be one of my top three-- because this comes from the deepest of my core, devoid of any trace of affectations and of any outside influence or inspiration-- RAW, UNADULTERATED, EMOTIONAL, MENTALLY STRUGGLING but DOGGEDLY SOLDIERING ON.
Anhedonia- n. the loss of the capacity to experience pleasure.
This facet of depression has its treacherous way of making the sufferer attempt to un-numb the mind-- in its crippling zombie-like state-- by filling it with anything-- any-fucking-thing that the mind can absorb, even if it means meaningless junk.
*******
It has been said that art is most beautiful when it is most truthful. This piece remains to be one of my top three personal favorites. Below, I'll explain why.
Technical-wise, it would have been so much better had I planned the shoot-- the lighting would have made the photo more aesthetically pleasing had I shot it daytime using natural light or spent time working on a DIY beauty dish (to this day, I have never gotten around to using any photography lighting equipment).
This was a spontaneous shoot, taken nighttime in my brother's room with no other ambient light than a small light bulb nearing its death.
I dragged my little sister to be my model and refused to put it off for the next day--- because when a person is in extreme anhedonia and by some stroke of almost-miracle they suddenly feel a desire to do something aside from sleeping, no matter how fleeting and short-lived--- they desperately grab that chance, like a thief in the night sneaking in right after the lights go out.
The concept hit me during one of those fleeting moments where Anhedonia seemed to have taken a quick nap. Something was screaming inside of me, like a cry for salvation from hell. I fought to give that cry an outlet-- and this piece is the result.
This piece remains to be one of my top three-- because this comes from the deepest of my core, devoid of any trace of affectations and of any outside influence or inspiration-- RAW, UNADULTERATED, EMOTIONAL, MENTALLY STRUGGLING but DOGGEDLY SOLDIERING ON.
$250