But when we grow up, we incorporated into the other kind of realm. sometimes we met for family business but we couldn’t show off our nice relationship as we did. Out of sight out of mind of course, and especially, I think she couldn’t aware of that, but I’d always jealous of her deeply inside myself and on the other hand I compared about two of us continuously.
We went almost same but totally different way.
She is the eldest of my aunt’s, and I am the lastborn of my father’s. We were raised in the city of port in our childhood but Incheon and Ulsan are variant from many things, not only regional dialect. I learned how to draw for all my life since I was 6 but after I’ve got bachelor’s degree in fine art, I wanted to be a flight attendant. And even though she was always dreamed about to be a stewardess, she talked to me once that she would like to study in fine art but she couldn’t do that somehow.
She has had a guy that loved her by her side for about decade, while I had own my love affair in just ten days or half months, at most. It looks different and nice when she was involved, even if it’s insignificant stories among the grown-up woman’s. She’s got a job, she’s promoted, she did something… I heard of these kind of saying over and over, and I’ve been questioning myself very often:What have I done? and then I was bring the subject up about her, without anyone’s asking. Now this time, we’re facing our thirty, I’m saying myself in the past of me was tormented and caught by that all of comparison, to realize the question ‘who’s better?’ is totally futile: I am fine and I’ve been doing my best. Stop comparing you and the others, over-thousand of people that born the exact same year and live the similar life, but feel completely different world. And if you’re find a way to be feel happy, you should enjoy that way as your own.
That crucial matter, I in my youth enjoying ice-cream, absolutely no idea of the future lean against next to the child, might have been probably, already knew before.
May 24, 2016